Mot de Sara Varner (Jad's Nurse)

It had to be close to midnight on the day Jad Salem rolled on to m9 for pain control and I decided I would admit him because of what a fun name he had. Not to mention I always flock to the Middle Eastern families (myself being half Syrian). Jad wasn’t like most 15-year olds though. He talked to me, a 30 something (yikes) nurse, like we were having drinks over a bar. He wasn't shy and shamelessly flirted with every Nurse. Cece of course acting as his wing man.

But once we broke through that we became lifelong friends. Magic tricks at 3 am, BBQ wings at 4 am, and of course a certain secret that he will take with him to heave n. Long deep talks about everything from religion, politics you name it. In 6 years, we had no secrets. I cherished our bond. He made me feel like the most important person in the room no matter what. And he has the ability to do that again and again for every member of his care team. He mentored other younger cancer patients, teaching them about anti nauseas cocktails, candy cart, and best hospital food.

Though there were many bad days we almost always found a way to laugh over something stupid. We both loved a corny joke and he was one of the few people who I said I loved you to daily. Jad knew the fragility of life and made sure those around him knew how he felt. He was emotive and kind and affectionate. When he could barely lift his head anymore, he made sure to kiss my cheek. That's why so many people didn't believe his time was almost up. It was Jad after all- he had cheated death before. As his famous bracelet said "Prove them Wrong" he did for 6 years. Almost nothing could stop him. Until it was on his terms. And it was, up until the last seconds.

The Salem family and beyond enveloped me into the family with their love and authentic Lebanese food that they always insisted I eat. He may have complained about his family as teen boys do but in our quiet time, he would tell me how he adored each and everyone one. And we all adored him right back.

Jad taught me to say I love you even if it's probably not the last night, to laugh even in pain, and to fight even when the odds are against you. He taught me to stop and really get to know someone like he did. This is still a work in progress.

I will never ever forget Jad and his family and their love. Jad may not be physically here but I know I have gained a family thanks to him. No more pain Jad... no more Ubers, Lfyts, taxis, or cabs. Just peace and love. We will try our best to carry a bit of Jad in us, by talking to the person sitting next to us, by making them laugh, and by trying to see the best in truly trying times. Jad once said to me "Sara I want you to go out more and meet someone and have fun" he wanted us all to live the life he couldn't quite grasp.

Sara Varner, Jad's Nurse
September 21, 2019